She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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