If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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