Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
