do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Use "feeling words"
Yay
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
