you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
