today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Randomize
