its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
