we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
