i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Ketchup is God's man juice
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
