my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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