Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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