Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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