But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
