if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
