Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize