Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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