so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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