She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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