Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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