theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
