The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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