I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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