my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
