Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
