He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
