the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Well I just put wine in my tea
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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