Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
