just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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