if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
