areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Randomize
