I think I won the penis lottery.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
