never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
