I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
