hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
