Your tits are I can't wait for
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
