you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
