Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
