I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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