Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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