TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize