dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
a search helicopter?!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I would ride that face into the sunset
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
