There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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