a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
