pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
