I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
