You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
