The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
