he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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