non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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