maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize