They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
