I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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