I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
