the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize