And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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