doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
