I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
