Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
