so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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